"Cougars" - Older Women Who Prefer Fucking Younger Men
35% of women surveyed said they preferred
dating younger men to dating older men
“Cougars,” as they have been dubbed,
are typically women in their 30s and 40s
who are financially stable or well-off
and looking for a man who can still satisfy them
Michelle Pfeiffer Does It for Me [she turns 50 next April]
The term "Cougar" was, as many terms for categories
of women usually are, initially derisive.
The word originated in Vancouver, British Columbia
to describe older women who would hang around bars
and go home with whoever was left after last call
Social attitudes have changed, however,
and the fem feline of prey is now held
in high regard for her animal urges
Couger Hunting Season[Original]
Even before American Pie introduced the term MILF [Mothers I'd Like to Fuck] into the national conversation of what was sexy, Academy Award-winning filmmaker Mike Nichols gave us The Graduate.
Starring a young Dustin Hoffman and a pre-Stepford Wives Katherine Ross, this film brought us the original Stifler’s mom, Mrs. Robinson, portrayed by Bronx native Anne Bancroft.
Hate to burst your bubble Fountains of Wayne, but Stacy’s mom has nothing going on compared to Bancroft, who in 1967 came to embody the suburban sophisticate mature female seeking to sink her experienced claws into some fresh flesh.
Innocent little Dustin had no chance of freeing himself from the hormonal clutches of such a voracious vixen (conveniently dressed in a leopard print top, symbolic of her role as “predator”), despite the fact that his character appeared to have little objection.
Although they still seem to be scandalous when used as subplots for Desperate Housewives and Sex and the City, relationships between older and younger people are not quite as rare and outrageous as the likes of OK! magazine would have you believe.
When Good Housekeeping starts claiming it’s not such a big deal, you know the subject no longer falls under the category of “volatile.”
“It challenges our basic, narrow perception of what a couple should be,” says human-sexuality expert Helen Fisher, Ph.D., author of The First Sex: The Talents of Women and How They Are Changing the World, as she told GH.
Fisher believes such relationships, regardless of which gender is older, are of great mutual benefit.
“We're seeing more of what are called ‘peer marriages,’ in which partners are marrying for companionship rather than for the traditional reproductive or economic reasons.”
In 2003, AARP conducted a study revealing that 34 percent of all women surveyed between the ages of 40 and 60 were dating younger men.
What’s more, 35 percent of women surveyed said they preferred dating younger men to dating older men.
“Cougars,” as they have been dubbed, are typically women in their 30s and 40s who are financially stable or well-off and are looking for a man that can still satisfy her.
The term was, as many terms for categories of women usually are, initially derisive. Sex columnist Valerie Gibson, author of Cougar: A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men, says the word originated in Vancouver, British Columbia to describe older women who would hang around bars and go home with whoever was left after last call.
Social attitudes have changed, however, and the fem feline of prey is now held in high regard for her animal urges.
One explanation for the attraction of younger men to older women is a perception that they carry less baggage with them.
“There was no fear in dating an older woman,” says Bobby Kern, 25, who is currently engaged to a 34-year-old woman.
“It seems that [older women] are easier to get along with—there is, for the most part, no drama. Older women know what they want, they usually are in a career, are financially secure and not looking for a man to take care of them.”
A Biology Lesson
How to explain younger men and older women in terms of biology then?
Well, some believe that a man reaches his “sexual peak” at or around his early 20s, and a woman doesn’t reach her sexual peak until at or around her early 40s.
Some, like Dr. Ruth Westheimer, do not.
Still, if we are to go on the assumption that there are such things as sexual peaks, and that a woman’s is later in life than a man’s, then wouldn’t it only make sense for older women to date younger men?
The benefit comes then to older women in the form of life in more progressive cultures with evolving social standards.
Websites and online communities are catering to the tastes of young men and women who prefer a more mature partner as well. UrbanCougar.com bills itself as a hot spot for younger men seeking older women, “dedicated to celebrating urbancougars and the prey who adore them."
Created in 2004 by cofounders Jeremy Mape, 29, a San Fransico real estate agent, and Mark Lobosco, 28, a software salesman (a.k.a. “Dynomite” and “Cash Money”), the website’s categories include Urbancougar Sightings, Urbancougar Hunting, Urbancougar of the Month, and News & Events.
“You have 30, 40, 50-year-old women who look like they're 25,” Mape says, “And you can't tell the difference.”
GoCougar.com has a subtle offering, almost like a FaceBook for those seeking attention outside their age range.
AgelessLove.com offers “Age Gap Relationship Support,” which near as we can tell is not actually a euphemism for “Party at Roman Polanski’s House.”
Even more mainstream online dating sites offer similar services, like SinglesNet.com.
The adult film industry has not shirked its responsibility to provide a few different flavors for this particular taste.
MILFs, or mature women if you wanna be PC about it, have become a much sought-after genre.
The cleverly titled Cookies and MILF, and the not-so-cleverly titled Mother Fuckers are some good examples.
Worth checking out also are TILF: Teachers I’d Like to Fuck and Screw My Wife Please!! The genre, does, sadly, seem to be exclusively male-centric.
Ultimately, when it comes to younger people dating older people, as with all kinds of relationships, it’s about companionship and trust. Lining up the right yin for the yang.
Or as Jane Greer, Ph.D., a marriage and sex therapist, sums it up: “If you find somebody intriguing [who] seems equally intrigued by you, don't automatically say no just because of a number.”
In truth, a person of experience can show a younger person a thing or three about bedroom play, and probably about life in general, while the younger person provides the older the right amount of energy and exuberance they might find lacking in their contemporaries.
Whatever the rational, evolutionary or otherwise, people of different age ranges can have fantastic, fun and sexy relationships with each other. Relationships that actually work. Which is more than can be said for some similar-age couples out there.