ed strong

Search

 

Daily Email

Receive a daily email digest: the headlines and summaries of articles posted each day. Click below.

Mailing List

««Nov 2009»»
SMTWTFS
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930
...

This Website contains adult content which may include images and videos of a sexually explicit nature. If you are under 18, please leave the site now.

FRIDAY 6 NOVEMBER

Ana Washes All Over in My Bathroom [10,136]

Sexy Teenage Girls [Kendra] [9,141]

Everyone Masturbates in the Bathroom [7,564]

Porn Postcard from Paris [7,492]

Fucking Body Heat! [5,477]

Photo Gallery [11.05.09] [5,246]

Teenage Sex Drive Beats Belief in God [3,150]

Unpicking Capitalism: 'Success' [1,766]

Unpicking Capitalism: 'Individualism' [1,628]

Unpicking Capitalism: 'Competition' [1,439]


THURSDAY 5 NOVEMBER

Lucy [Most Desirable Adolescent] [8,940]

Sex'n'Art: Erotic Porn [8,522]

Voluptuous Italian Porn Star Fucks [7,576]

Jayden Cole's Kitty [5,833]

Erotic Lesbian Playtime [5,757]

Sexy Teenage Girls [Sian] [4,859]

Photo Gallery [11.04.09] [4,417]

Sex Toys Sell Well in the Recession [No Work, More Masturbation] [2,981]

Obama May Abandon Afghanistan [1,605]

And God Created Capitalism [1,496]

Widening Wealth Gap, Even in Retirement [1,432]


WEDNESDAY 4 NOVEMBER

Utterly Stupendous Teen Sexuality [5,718]

Katie & I Go Camping [5,198]

Photo Gallery [11.03.09] [5,103]

Vintage Porn Image [4,604]

Lesbian Initiation [4,076]

Ava - Teenage Temptress [4,040]

Sexy Giselle Strips [3,742]

Big Pharma Creates FSD [Female Sexual Dysfunction] [1,719]

Welcome to the Billionaire Bailout Club [1,566]

Liberalism Is a Capitalist Ideology [1,535]

Free Market Stalls [Death of US Economic Ideology] [1,482]


TUESDAY 3 NOVEMBER

Get a Fucking Grip! [12,027]

Cool, Desirable Annie [9,892]

Hands-on Orgasms [7,941]

What a Fuck! [7,557]

Top Five Explicit Sex Shots [5,188]

Photo Gallery [11.02.09] [4,893]

Catfighting: New Season [4,262]

Anti-Porn Puritan Crusade [2,736]

Under Obama: Losing Hope for Change [1,649]

Wall Street: Rich White Guys with Snouts in the Trough [1,583]

High Unemployment Will Continue for Years to Come [1,455]


MONDAY 2 NOVEMBER

"Fuck Me in the Bath" [11,106]

My Teenage French 'Cousin' [10,979]

The Perfect Porn Image [9,825]

Fucking Orgasm! [6,195]

Photo Gallery [10.31.09] [4,983]

Old School: Lesbian Munching [4,211]

Top Five Erections [3,940]

Sexual Repression: America's Puritanical, Prudish Culture [3,462]

The Rise & Rise of Neoliberal Capitalism [1,693]

What's Wrong with Wall Street? [Fewer Banks, Too Big to Fail] [1,609]

The Great Recession & Consumer Debt [1,588]


SUNDAY 1 NOVEMBER

Glass Dildo: A Girls Best Friend [6,788]

Two Pretty Kitties [6,524]

Clip Joint [6,042]

"Sexy Bitch" [Two Versions] [5,955]

Porn Star, Joanne Guest [5,702]

Photo Gallery [10.30.09] [5,561]

Striptease: More Tacky Than Tasteful [4,738]

Erika & Elaine [Two Hot Bitches] [4,640]

Clara Morgane: French Pop Diva [4,463]

Lina: Phew! What a Scorcher! [4,195]

Sexy Chic [4,070]


MOST POPULAR [LAST 7 DAYS]

1. Masturbating Schoolgirl in Classroom [35,533]

2. Fucking Position [Great Shot] [33,139]

3. The Voyeur: Watching Her Come [31,307]

4. Porn Clip: Teenage Couple Fucking [27,388]

5. Lorna, Post-Coital [22,804]

6. Modern Women Pleasure Each Other [21,516]

7. Holy Shit! What a Vulva! [18,992]

8. Ashley Masturbates on the Washing Machine [18,565]

9. Saucy Teen Cheerleader [18,070]

10. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun [17,625]

11. Female Orgasm Facts [Clip] [17,602]

12. Dirty Washing! [17,543]

13. "Can I Make That Harder for You" [16,790]

14. Webcam Teen Undresses [15,752]

15. Controversial Lingerie Clip from Germany [15,733]

Hurricane Katrina: Real Name - Climate Change

posted Wednesday, 31 August 2005
THE EFFECTS OF CLIMATE CHANGE ON AMERICA'S WEATHER SYSTEM

The hurricane that struck Louisiana two days ago was nicknamed Katrina by the National Weather Service. Its real name is climate change [global warming].

When the year began with a two-foot snowfall in Los Angeles, the cause was global warming.

When 124-mile-an-hour winds shut down nuclear plants in Scandinavia and cut power to hundreds of thousands of people in Ireland and the United Kingdom, the driver was global warming.

When a severe drought in the Midwest dropped water levels in the Missouri River to their lowest on record earlier this summer, the reason was global warming.

In July, when the worst drought on record triggered wildfires in Spain and Portugal and left water levels in France at their lowest in 30 years, the explanation was global warming.

When a lethal heat wave in Arizona kept temperatures above 110 degrees and killed more than 20 people in one week, the culprit was global warming.

And when the Indian city of Bombay (Mumbai) received 37 inches of rain in one day -- killing 1,000 people and disrupting the lives of 20 million others -- the villain was global warming.

As the atmosphere warms, it generates longer droughts, more-intense downpours, more-frequent heat waves, and more-severe storms.

Although Katrina began as a relatively small hurricane that glanced off south Florida, it was supercharged with extraordinary intensity by the relatively blistering sea surface temperatures in the Gulf of Mexico.

The consequences are as heartbreaking as they are terrifying.

Unfortunately, very few people in America know the real name of Hurricane Katrina because the coal and oil industries have spent millions of dollars to keep the public in doubt about the issue.

The reason is simple: To allow the climate to stabilize requires humanity to cut its use of coal and oil by 70 percent. That, of course, threatens the survival of one of the largest commercial enterprises in history.

In 1995, public utility hearings in Minnesota found that the coal industry had paid more than $1 million to four scientists who were public dissenters on global warming. And ExxonMobil has spent more than $13 million since 1998 on an anti-global warming public relations and lobbying campaign.

In 2000, big oil and big coal scored their biggest electoral victory yet when President George W. Bush was elected president -- and subsequently took suggestions from the industry for his climate and energy policies.

As the pace of climate change accelerates, many researchers fear we have already entered a period of irreversible runaway climate change.

Against this background, the ignorance of the American public about global warming stands out as an indictment of the US media.

When the US press has bothered to cover the subject of global warming, it has focused almost exclusively on its political and diplomatic aspects and not on what the warming is doing to our agriculture, water supplies, plant and animal life, public health, and weather.

For years, the fossil fuel industry has lobbied the media to accord the same weight to a handful of global warming skeptics that it accords the findings of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change -- more than 2,000 scientists from 100 countries reporting to the United Nations.

Today, with the science having become even more robust -- and the impacts as visible as the megastorm that covered much of the Gulf of Mexico -- the press bears a share of the guilt for our self-induced destruction with the oil and coal industries.

As a Bostonian, I am afraid that the coming winter will -- like last winter -- be unusually short and devastatingly severe. At the beginning of 2005, a deadly ice storm knocked out power to thousands of people in New England and dropped a record-setting 42.2 inches of snow on Boston.

The conventional name of the month was January. Its real name is global warming. Ross Gelbspan @ Boston Globe

A GLOBAL TREND

The latest hurricane is not an isolated disaster. It is part of a global trend. So far this summer, thousands of people around the world have drowned in massive and abrupt floods.

India, known for its torrential monsoons, has taken hundreds if not thousands of casualties in a series of storms that have left houses submerged and survivors vulnerable to hunger and disease.

On July 26, Bombay alone saw the deaths of nearly 450 and the displacement of 200,000 residents after a record 94 centimeters (37 inches) of rain fell in a span of 24 hours.

Last week in Eastern Europe, at least 70 people died in unprecedented rains.

The severe weather, particularly the anomalously harsh weather in Europe, has been attributed by meteorologists to an unusual “kink” in the jet stream, the strong atmospheric band of current responsible for regular and reasonably predictable weather patterns.

Scientists have predicted that such shifts in the jet stream, accompanied by a sharp increase in the number of hurricanes and other serious weather events, will be one of the consequences of global warming.

While meteorology is a science complicated by chaotic weather patterns, statistics on the tumultuous developments illustrate a definite trend in the past decades.

US government meteorological agencies, however, have been muted in acknowledging the role played by global warming in the trend. This is in no small part due to the Bush administration’s refusal to accept any limits on carbon dioxide emissions, which cause warming.

Figures from the US National Weather Service and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration regarding tropical storm activity indicate that since 1995, all of the Atlantic hurricane seasons have been above normal, with the exception of the 1997 and 2002 El Niño years, with six of the past ten years classified as hyperactive.

This means that on NOAA’s Accumulated Cyclone Energy index, which analyzes the collective intensity and duration of each year’s hurricane season, cumulative storm activity is at least 175 percent above the median activity, representing an average year.

NOAA forecasts the ACE index for 2005 somewhere between 180 and 270 percent of the median, making it the seventh “extremely active year” of the last ten.

According to a National Weather Service report, “Hurricane seasons during 1995-2004 have averaged 13.6 tropical storms, 7.8 hurricanes, 3.8 major hurricanes, and with an average ACE index of 159 percent of the median...

"In contrast, during the preceding 1970-1994 period, hurricane seasons averaged 9 tropical storms, 5 hurricanes, and 1.5 major hurricanes, with an average ACE index of only 75 percent of the median.”

Until the official hurricane season ends in November, the National Weather Service predicts as many as fourteen more tropical storms in the Atlantic, with as many as nine of them becoming hurricanes. Naomi Spencer @ World Socialist

tags:      

links: digg this    del.icio.us    technorati    reddit




1. Raymond left...
Thursday, 1 September 2005 10:34 pm :: http://certus.blog-city.com

HEY NAOMI,

KATRINA= CLIMATE CHANGE?

AS USUAL, YOU ARE WRONG.

MORE SATURDAY--RAY


2. Raymond left...
Monday, 5 September 2005 2:16 am :: http://certus.bolg-city.com

KATRINA AND KYOTO?? I MET THE GUY WHO ORIGINATED THIS IDEA AT THE BEACH YESTERDAY

I, HE, and DOG

Only the top half of the sun’s red orb shown above the peaceful Gulf Of Mexico; A fat ball floating on the distant dark blue horizon. Six A.M., the air on the shore still too cool to suck the ocean wind onto the beach, bringing its caress to tease the palms into a swaying dance and exciting the white-capped rolls of turquoise grandeur into crashing onto the sugar-like sand.

What a great morning to walk the beach!

Especially this beach, the sparkling emerald rush caressing the brilliant white sand at Destin. Buoyed and exhilarated by the beauty and peace of the early morning walk, my mind exulted at the thought:

God is on His throne and I am on His beach.

I walked for 4-5 hours, first east then back west, toward my rented condo. The strand of white was glowing whiter now, the mainland hotter. The white-crowned emerald waves were now pounding the hardened wet sand with the muffled sound of distant thunder. Again and again the emerald floods challenged the mainland for dominance on its southern flank--again and again the ribbon of sand shrugged its shoulders and the foaming stream relented and rolled back, only to be marshaled by another wave for yet another attempt.

I knew the waves would soon win, and, since the beach had now narrowed to a ten-foot path, and knowing further that the surf would not stop until it neared the rolling dunes; only then would the land say—thus far and no more. I decided to quit the beach for the street paralleling the ocean front, about one-half block north.

Reaching this boulevard of hotel entrances and store fronts, I resumed my westward trek to the condo. A block ahead my eyes were drawn to an odd sight. A large German Shepard was relieving himself on (believe it or not) a fire plug. Standing less than six feet away was a man, maybe in this fifties or sixties, with a camera-like devise to his eye—but also with an appendage, exotic to a camera, appearing to be headphones.

By now I was within ten feet of the odd scene, and—since I could not think of a more appropriate question--I asked if he were making a movie of the dog?

HE: Does this look like a camera to you?

I: No, but a camera is the thing it looks most like. Anyway, why so gruff?

HE: This damn dog will not cooperate with my experiment. The device that you dismissed as a camera is an invention which reads the brain waves of an animal and translates their thoughts into English, which I hear through this headphone.

I: Hmmm, I see. You sound British.

HE: So I am, but should that admission require your face to contort to a sneer when you made that remark!!

I: I’m very sorry, I didn’t mean to be discourteous—sometime I get my sneer face mixed up with my astonished face. I am just amazed that your device can perform as you say. What is the dog doing that upsets you?

HE: This bitch is not thinking, therefore I can’t hear words derived from those thoughts.

I: The dog is a male dog, not a bitch --- are you sure you have your instrument on the right setting, that is --- male German Shepherd? Maybe he is thinking, and, therefore, speaking in German, and you just don’t understand.

HE: There is not one fragment of humor in that silly remark. Here I am, working on a project destined to aid in saving the entire world, and you make stupid jokes.

I: I’m sorry, it won’t happen again. But why are you so hard on this poor dog?

HE: Listen closely: My name is Joseph Boor—Doctor Joseph Boor. This name, no doubt, means nothing to you…

I: No doubt, but it sounds connected to aspects of your personality.

HE: Please! Do not interrupt with your imbecilic witticisms!!! Many animals, including dogs, possess telepathic communication capacity with nature. They are close to the earth; the spirit of nature resides within their souls. They are capable of instinctively drawing upon the past and transfering the past to the present and using this knowledge in an attempt at making amends for humanity’s stupid mistakes. Because of global warming, this fireplug is most likely at the hottest temperature it has been in one-thousand years—this damn bitch, uh dog can detect this--- meditate on it, and I can hear this spoken through my instrument. Now do you understand???

I: Yes, uh…yes, I think I’m beginning to see, uh, where you’re coming from.

HE: Good! This slovenly canine refuses to think one thought so I can confirm his statement as to the temperature of this fireplug relative to the last thousand years. It is very hard to have your work published in scientific journals unless you have new, novel and horrific information on climate change.

Mere scary scenarios simply will not suffice—even CNN will not run these redundant horrors. They must be awful. I asked this dog if he was urinating on this fireplug to cool it down from record temperature and after three entreaties he thought not one word. And now, you and this stubborn animal have so upset me, and my throat is so dry that I must go to that drugstore and find a glass of water. I want to ask you if I put my device on you, could I trust you not to drop it and just do as I ask.

I: I would be honored.

HE: Alright, I have it secured to your ears, so just point the forward probe toward the stupid animal and listen closely. I’ll be right back.

I: It’s alright, take your time.

I: Well, pooch, what’s going on? Just you and me now, if you don’t feel like talk…

DOG: I don’t like that guy; he’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen in Destin. He asked me to confirm that the fireplug was at it’s highest temperature in one-thousand years and if I was urinating on it to cool it; I said nothing because this weirdo scares me—and I didn’t want to have to bite his butt.

I: Well, had he not scared you what would you had said to him?

DOG: I would have said “look, Mack, I’m 8 years old—understand? I know nothing older than 8-years. I urinated on the plug because I had to pee, and the plug was there”. If you don’t mind I think I’ll get on the beach before he gets back.

I: Have a good day—watch for cars.

HE: I’m back, where’s the dog? Did you chase him off?

I: No, he left of his own accord—but he left you a message.

HE: Did he? Did he? What did he say? Quickly! Tell me!

I: He said his only interest in the fireplug was as a convenient place to pee. He knew nothing of history beyond his eight years and... .

HE: Liar! Liar! Flagrant canine liar!! The whole world is corrupted by evil liars!!

I: What reason would a simple German shepherd have to lie to you? We have been at peace with his country for fifty years… and why are you staring at that motel roof? Are you seeing something that I can’t see?

HE: I often see things that ordinary people can’t see – it’s part of my profession to see the invisible phenomena. How do you think we inventive climatologists could come up with our scary headlines if we didn’t see and know things beyond human verification? Now look, look! Look at what global warming has done to that red roof on that motel! It has so expanded from this never-before-seen heat that it has waves from right to left and left to right!! It undulates, the asphalt tiles have curled up and down. Quick! Let me find my notebook I can make the front page on NATURE, maybe SCIENCE also. Can you see it?? “FLORIDA HEAT DESTROYING ALL ROOFTOPS”

I: Hold on, John—just wait a minute—that roofing is terra cotta, it’s made that way by design. It…

HE: What do you mean, it’s made that way?? I can see, through my innate inventive perception that it was corrugated through intense global warming. My front page cannot be in error—how can you be so committed to ruining my reputation? I’m a well know scientific celebrity, and I’ve never even heard of a terra firma roof…

I: It’s terra cotta, John, made from a brick-like clay to…

HE: Made from bricks, you say. Let me get my note pad again: “FLORIDA ROOF MAKERS TURN TO BRICK TO FIGHT ROOF DESTROYING HEAT.” I say, I like that better than the first headline—maybe the journals will publish both.

I: Wait a minute here; doesn’t it bother you that you deceive people with this nonsense?

HE: No, not at all. You see, people tend to believe everything that’s negative—they don’t like news that doesn’t tingle their spines with foreboding and terror. This is very fortunate for inventive climate researchers: our chilling tales and contrived anecdotes are little more than entertainment for the stupid masses. Quickly, they begin believing our little hyperbole—just as in the fifties and sixties, science fiction movies now have otherwise sane people prating about “flying saucers”, “men from other galaxies”, and other such drivel.

I: And this deceit does not offend your sense of personal integrity?

HE: Certainly not!! Not now, that I have matured in my profession. As a graduate student I was a bit timid, “fudging the facts”, as we say, but you get over these brief periods, especially when your research sponsor desires a conclusion that “falls between the facts”, so to speak. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha—you see, I can be funny, also, ha, ha, ha.

I: Yes, even more than you realize.

HE: I think you miss my point all together: We, the inventive elites of the climatologic community have a mission, that mission is to change the world. To change perceptions, avoiding the mad rush to doomsday.

I: You have no compunction in manipulating the world’s citizens? In having them subjected to biased conclusions on world climate?

HE: Of course not! The very foundation of world politics is bias and manipulation.

I: Isn’t science supposed to be different from politics?

HE: Oh you naïve, naïve boy! The two have become one and the same on environmental concerns.

I: Yes, many scientists of a contrarians view are saying so…

HE: Not in unscrupulous way, of course. We are in a war for the minds of men. We researchers are the generals; certain elected officials are our troops, so to speak. Our media friends are our trumpeters.

I: But on the anthropogenic global warming question…

HE: Anthropogenic global warming is not a question—it’s an answer!!!

I: An answer to what?

HE: Virtually everything we discover in our research! Cold winters, athletes feet, warm winters, hemorrhoids, desertification, fat people, flooding, bad breath, glacial melting, tooth decay, glacial increases, serial murders, species extinction, divorce, species proliferation and a host of others.

I: Looks like you have covered all the bases—but back to my aborted question; in regard to your man-caused global warming, how do you deal with all the historical evidence that tends to consign the slight, current warming to mere natural climate variation?

HE: We ignore it. Or we simply refer it to as “myth”, just as Dr. Mann recently discarded the anachronistic terms “Medieval Warming” and Medieval Cooling to the dustbin of antiquity. We have our ways.

I: Why would Dr. Mann expose himself to the ridicule of thousands of other scientists by declaring climate history non-existent?

  • HE: Oh, my layman friend—you are so deprived of any particulars of the raging climate war. With the Medieval Warm Period looking over our shoulders, and its absurd putative --“1200 AD---three-degrees-warmer than today.” Blaspheme!! How can we inventive climatologists proclaim that today’s 1- degree increase is the warmest in 1,000 years?? This mythological Medieval Warm Period droned on for 350 years—and ours is barely 25 years old!! And if l we allow stupid researchers to tell the masses that this warming was followed by remarkable worldwide cooling period–-such natural variation takes the wind from the sails of our good ship Global Warming. Our cardinal doctrine is gone. Great industries like the Sierra Club, NDF, The Pew Group, The Kyoto Protocol Defenders, NRDC and numberless others would lose credence and shut down—with jobs lost and huge economic disruption. It has been reliably estimated that 20% of the world’s lawyers would be forced to find new professions…

I: Incalculably tragic, what could they possibly do?

HE: Please stop interrupting! I cannot abide verbal competition! Further, and even worse, people such as I and Al Gore and Robert Kennedy Jr. and Michael Moore and hundreds of Hollywood celebrities would no longer be greeted with the honor of climate expert. Surely you can plainly see what a tragedy this would be.

I: Plainly.

I: You know, Dr. Boor, I must run. You have shared with me more insights than my small mind can process in at one time.

HE: Oh, do not feel too inferior, I do that to people every day, glad to be of help, perhaps we can have another session soon.

I: Uh, yeah, that would be, uh, fantastic—in the ultimate sense of the word

I trotted quickly back the half block to the beach and continued west toward my temporary home. The tide, now receding, gave a new turbulent roll to the pounding, foaming surf.

I had been in Destin the year before, when a moderate hurricane came ashore. I pretended that I was Jim Cantore, I stumbled through the 75 mph winds, I felt the stinging rain in my diving goggles and gazed at the heavy, hammering waves for hours, searching for some tidbit of alarming camera footage.

  • Life, and this earth, I mused, is infused with near-cyclic phenomena. They come and they go—and they return again. But I respect the biblical proverb, “There is {really} nothing new under the sun.”

The hurricane was not pleasant – Jim Cantore is a brave man—and an accomplished actor.

  • But I enjoy Destin much more when God is on his throne and I am on his beach.

RLH 03 SEPTEMBER 05


3. Raymond left...
Friday, 23 September 2005 2:39 am :: http://certus.blog-city.com

SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW BUSH? BET YOU DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT THIS.

I CANNOT REVEAL WHERE I GOT THIS INFORMATION UNLESS I’D WILLING TO RISK ASSASSINATION—AND I’M NOT RISKING IT BECAUSE I PROMISED TO TAKE MY WIFE TO A MOVIE TONIGHT.

MOST PEOPLE DON’T KNOW IT BUT GEORGE BUSH IS AN EXPERT JET PILOT. HIS CHOICE OF PLANES IS A RUSSIAN MIG FIGHTER THAT HE GOT IN A DEAL FROM THE CHINESE GOVERNMENT, IN A SECRET TRADE PACT WITH BEIJING WHICH ALLOWS THE CHINESE TO DOUBLE THEIR IMPORT PRICES FOR STUFF SHIPPED TO AMERICA’S BLUE STATES. BUSH PREFERS THIS AIRCRAFT BECAUSE IT WILL GO FASTER SINCE IS DOESN’T HAVE ALL THAT ANTI-POLLUTION STUFF ON IT-- AND ALSO BECAUSE NO ONE WOULD EXPECT THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT TO BE FLYING A VERY COMMON CHINESE MIG OUT OVER THE AMERICAN SOUTH AND THE CARIBBEAN, WHICH WAS HIS MOST RECENT TRIP.

ALSO, TO BE CERTAIN, IF SOME BODY HAD HIGH-POWER BINOCULARS, THE INSIGNIA OF THE PLANE IS *^*#+*$&*v…- WHICH ALL THE EASTERN CARIBBEAN PEOPLE KNOW IS CHINESE FOR: “GEORGE BUSH IS NOT PILOTING THIS MIG.”

MOST PEOPLE DON’T KNOW IT BUT BUSH IS A NUCLEAR PHYSICIST AND AN ELECTRONIC ENGINEER. A FEW DAYS BEFORE THE BIG HURRICANE HIT THE GULF-- BUSH ASSEMBLED A WATER-PROOF NUCLEAR DEVICE AND SEVERAL MISCELLANEOUS WATER-PROOF, ELECTRONIC, HURRICANE POTENCY GIZMOS IN THE BATHTUB OF HIS MASTER BATHROOM AT HIS TEXAS RANCH. THIS ALWAYS UPSETS LAURA SINCE HE LEAVES ALL THAT “GLOWING STICKY STUFF”-RING IN THE TUB.

AS ALWAYS, IT WAS A BIT SHAKY AS HE TOOK OFF FROM HIS SECRET AIRFIELD IN CRAWFORD SINCE THE MIG IS A STRAIGHT-SHIFT AND BUSH LEARNED TO FLY IN AN AUTOMATIC.

ON HIS WAY, BUSH CHECKED 0FF HIS DEVICES: “ONE NUCLEAR HURRICANE MAKER-INVIGORATOR THINGY;” “ONE GALLON, SUPER CONCENTRATED FAIL-PROOF, BLUE-STATE SEEKER, WITH CONDITIONER TO PREVENT FRAYED EDGES ON HURRICANE SPIRALS;” “ ONE MILLION ‘JEB FOR PRESIDENT’ STICKERS.” “10-GAZILLION, SPECIAL, TV-PURCHASED POTENCY PILLS.” THEN HE PLACED THIS STUFF IN AN ELECTRONIC BOX AND PROGRAMMED THE WORD K-A-T-R-I-N-A—WHICH IS COMANCHE FOR “NEW ENGLAND”-- A HOTBED OF BLUE STATES (MOST PEOPLE DON’T KNOW IT BUT BUSH IS FLUENT IN 46 AMERICAN INDIAN LANGUAGES AND 124 DIALECTS.)

THEN HE QUICKLY FOUND A GOOD SIZED, TROPICAL STORM-- SLOWED THE MIG TO 500-MILES PER HOUR, SLID BACK THE COCKPIT CANOPY AND DROPPED THE WHOLE THINGY, DUCT-TAPPED TO A HELIUM BALLOON INTO THE EYE OF THE STORM .

AS HE TURNED TOWARD THE MAINLAND, HE NOTICED THROUGH HIS REAR-VIEW MIRROR AN F-16 FIGHTER ON HIS TAIL WITH A “CNN” INSIGNIA ON THE SIDE. HE QUICKLY DROPPED HIS LEFT WING AND DOVE STRAIGHT TO THE OPEN OCEAN BELOW WITH THE F-16 ON HIS TAIL. HE DESCENDED 36,000 FEET IN 9 SECONDS – THEN PULLED UP ONLY 11-INCHES FROM THE OCEAN. THE CNN FIGHTER DIDN’T HAVE A CHANCE AND SPLASHED.

HIS FUEL WAS NOW LOW DUE TO HIS EVASIVE ACTION WITH THE F-16 CAMERA-FIGHTER CRAFT, SO HE HAD TO GO BY JEB’S FARM NEAR TALLAHASSEE TO FILLED UP WITH HIS BROTHER’S MIG FUEL STASH.

IT WAS 3 DAYS LATER WHILE WATCHING FOX NEWS AT CRAWFORD THAT HE REALIZED HIS NEW CREATION WAS ENTERING THE GULF OF MEXICO--- NO WHERE NEAR NEW ENGLAND.

THEN HE GOT HIS SECRET CODE BOOK, WHICH WAS WEDGED BEHIND HIS COMMODE, OPENED IT AND DISCOVERED THAT HE HAD USED THE WRONG DIRECTIONAL CODE NAME: “KATRINA” WAS NOT A COMANCHE WORD AT ALL --IT WAS A CHOCTAW TERM FOR “GULF COAST.”

SO THIS IS THE REAL REASON THAT BUSH WENT ON HIS “30-DAY VACATION.”

IF ANY READER THINKS THESE COMMENTS ARE NOT TRUE, OR OVERSTATED—THEN YOU JUST DON’T KNOW GEORGE AS WELL AS I DO—MOST PEOPLE DON’T KNOW IT BUT HE AND I ARE MEMBERS OF THE SAME POLITICAL PARTY. YOU CAN’T GET MUCH CLOSER THAN THAT.