Sexism: He's a Stud; She's a Slut
I hate the sexual double standard, where men are
rewarded and women are punished for having sex
As a woman, I think it's gross. A girl who sleeps
around is called a “slut” or “whore.” A guy who
does the same is called a “player” or “stud”
Female Perspective on Promiscuity [Source]
If I said a student on our campus had sex with 25 people, would it make a difference if the student was male or female? How does your opinion of them change?We call that the sexual double standard, in which men are rewarded and women are punished for having sex.
As a female, I feel it is unfair. We all know a girl who sleeps around is called a “slut” or “whore.” When a guy who does the same is called “player” or “stud.”
Why should women feel guilt instead of pleasure? Why should a woman be chaste and pure? Where does this schism come from? It comes from history. Only a few generations ago women were seen as property, unable to own even intellectual thoughts. A woman in control of her sexuality is a very recent thing.
The sexual standard was challenged by free love in the 1960s, in the dawn of the birth control pill – women finally gained some control over their sexuality, but to this day, women are still stigmatized for enjoying sex. It seems counterproductive and weird in a society that links almost every product with the subconscious promise of sexual gratification. Guys get to do what they want because they are valued above women. It is still a common myth that men have stronger sex drives than women. This myth is used to justify the division between genders.
Men are somehow metaphorically conquering women if they have sex with them. Masculinity is a fragile social construct that constantly needs to be reaffirmed (if you don't believe me watch Jackass or CKY). Men become men by proving their difference, and sometimes control, over women. Women want to have sex, not just play house and have children. We are not indifferent when it comes to sex. We are held back from being who we would like to be by guilt and shame.
Many girls I know ask these same questions: Why should a guy lose interest because she sleeps with him? Why should she feel guilty for something that should have been enjoyable? Unfortunately, it is a cycle that convinces women to blame themselves. Women learn they should be more concerned with how others see them, than how they see themselves. This is why we go along with it all, instead of laughing it off as an ancient joke. We have to change the way we see these things – look at them for what they really are. The Casanova male is more likely to have a sexually transmitted disease. The woman who sleeps around will be more fun since she has more experience.
Start questioning why we should hold our personal lives into view for others. The only way to change old ideas is to stop validating them.
Don’t criticize the girl, and not the boy. Would you call your male friend a slut? Without changing the dialogue, we are stuck playing the game of our parents and grandparents. Women need to start by not demonizing each other. I tend to find myself thinking, “good for her” instead of “what a tramp!"
We are able to redefine the way we are looked at and judged. Petty fighting and competition only serve to divide us and make us more insecure. Just remember that ultimately it is none of your business what other people do. And men, if you stop making women feel bad about having sex, you will probably end up having more of it. We want to be fun and free, and we don't want to be looked down upon for doing the same things men freely do without scorn.
When you treat us like notches on a belt it cheapens us. We deserve your respect.