rl: A little boy walks up to his mom and says, “Mommy, what’s an orgasm?”

“I don’t know, dear,” she replies. “Ask your father.”

An oldie but a goodie, that one. And like most jokes, it’s funny ’cause it has its roots in truth.

It’s generally easy for men to have orgasms, whether with a partner or on our own. But when it comes to helping our female loved ones get to O-town, our attitude tends to be shoulder-shrugging indifference.

In a recent survey of 1,026 heterosexual men over the age of 18, a full 75% of respondents said that if their partner doesn’t have an orgasm during sex, it’s not her fault. And not their fault, either.

“You are responsible for your own orgasms, not your partner’s,” said sex therapist David McKenzie. “So it’s a very healthy response.” Sex Graph

It’s not that we don’t care. Far from it, in fact. Out of the men surveyed, 64% said it’s very important that their partner have an orgasm, and 29% said it’s at least somewhat important.

“Men on the whole do care, just like women are,” McKenzie said. “When they come for sex therapy, they’re only more than willing to help their partners have an orgasm, because it’s very exciting for them.”

Thing is, it’s just so fucking easy for us. According to the survey, men have about four orgasms per week, half with a partner and half while playing solitaire. S

“Anthropologists believe that men need to have a physical release, ie. orgasm, every 24 to 48 hours,” said Calgary-based sexologist Trina Read, author of the upcoming Til Sex Do Us Part: Make Your Married Sex Irresistible.

“It’s your biological predisposition because you need to spread your seed,” said Read. Somehow that sounds both strangely clinical and slightly dirty at the same time.

But most guys have a limited set of sexual tools, and getting our partners to join us for a ride on the O-train isn’t always easy.

If we bust out all our moves and at the end of it all she still isn’t there, we don’t really have any more material to fall back on, Read said.

“I find men always have a checklist in their heads,” she said. “They go to please their partner, and they try this check. Doesn’t work? Try this check. Doesn’t work? Try this check.

“They go through their list of things they think are going to get their partner excited, and if it doesn’t and work and their checklist is finished... ‛Well, I guess that’s it! That’s all I know!’ ”

“Maybe women are more at fault for not telling men what their sexual needs are,” said Read. “We are supposedly sexually emancipated, and when it comes to long-term sex, we’re not.

“We just sit back and take what we’re given and bitch about it to our girlfriends. And then the guys don’t get as much sex as they’d like.”

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